Sunday, July 6, 2008

Foul Mouthed Angels

Last night I had a dream that I was part of a host of angels sent from heaven to battle Satan's minions on the roof of the city library. The angels kept calling their weapons "filthy cleans", and I know this because one of the commanding angles kept yelling "Re-load your filthy-cleans". I still haven't worked the science out, but somehow, when the angles let loose their tongues with angelic swears, the demons would become offended and retreat back to the safety of hell. As I watched the battle of words unfold, I remember really enjoying all of the heavenly cuss words raining down upon the battlefield thinking that I should remember them and write them into Children Kids scripts. Alas, it is morning, and the celestial swears have been hidden away somewhere secret in my memory. I think, perhaps, the doings of sneaky angels with foul mouths not wanting me to tell on them during my morning prayers.

My plea is two part. First, to the angels whom I heard spewing foul cusseries. If any are reading, I promise not to tell the Big Man of the tactics used against the small man's army on condition that I'm reminded of the hilarious swear words used during the battle on the roof top. Second, to any other readers of this post, I would like to hear any versions of angel cussing you might have. Added bonus if you have actually heard an angel swear.


Cedric Anderson said...

If i knew any angelic swear words, i wouldn't tell you, you apple-slappin', flannel-floggin' bucket-knuckle.

Joseph said...

Very nice, but not celestial enough. I was thinking more like "Shadracking Maygogger" or "You Korihoring Swinenugger".

Adam Borg said...

Wow that dream was both enlightening and funny, thanks for sharing

moldy said...

I love you. That would suck to hear that if you were in hell.
As a kid I remember asking my mom if satan would like or hate it if I cussed him out. She couldn't answer that.

cole said...

"As a kid I remember asking my mom if satan would like or hate it if I cussed him out. She couldn't answer that."

that makes me laugh out loud. :)