Wednesday, July 30, 2008
photo by leo patrone
BERK is a robot.
Why a robot?
Don't ask us such stupid questions or we'll send our robot after you. Our animating robot to be specific. Designed to animate at super human speed, the BERK unit is a perfect fit here at Children Kids. Powered by otter pops, impervious to tedious suggestions, and rust, BERK can work for hours on end without sleep, or positive reinforcement.
But that kind of technology doesn't exist now, does it?
Shut your face you! Of course technology like that isn't around yet. The BERK unit was sent back in time, three months from now, to help us on our quest to make a cartoon. It was the clever plan of our art director Cole. In February of this year he sent a check to a robotics company in ST. George, Utah, with instructions to mail back to our time a robot as soon as they had one that met our specifications. We wanted a rock-climbing, animating, golden-locks havin' robot, and that's exactly what we got.
Three months from the future?
Yes, you're mind would be blown if you knew what was just round the corner. BERK has told us many frightening things about not good stuff that is bad.
Could you be more specific?
While getting his Animating and Super-Awesome chips installed at The University of Utah, BERK worked for an airline, loading and unloading planes so he could get the discounted flights. He traveled the world snorkeling, and scuba-ing and was witness to something horrible.
What man, for the love of all that is good! What happens?
Gasoline.......over 4$ a gallon! Duhn duhn duhn!
But gas is over that now. And if he was from three months into the future, and you received him last February, doesn't that mean the future he came from was last May?
Berk is a crazy man that dresses in a robot costume, and works for otter pops, there, are you happy now? That's all we can afford.