Thursday, October 9, 2008

Delicate little flower....

This post has little to do with Children Kids, however, I am appealing to the fans of the cartoon to settle a debate between myself and the "Hate King" known to be Devon.

Some of you may recognize the vicious little angel above from "The Biggest Loser", a television show that gathers girthy people up in to a gym, where they bottle their sweat for natural cures and aphrodisiacs. Her name is Jillian Michaels, and she is one of the trainers on the show responsible for shouting and hitting the living bean bags until they feel enough shame to stop eating.

The debate: Man or Woman

I say woman, Devon says man. I say woman because I'm extremely attracted to her, Devon says man because of her Adam's apple. I say woman because I think the features on her face defined and unique, Devon says man because she looks like a silver back.

I believe that most of Devon's motives come from his hope that I might never achieve happiness and he will do anything he sees fit to keep me from falling in love, like calling my new found fancy a lumberjack, Yettie, or pre-op transvestite. Because he doesn't want me to be happy, I cannot trust his opinion on the subject of her gender. So what if she can beat most men to a pulp? That's adorable. Who cares if she pees standing up? Who doesn't? And is it really that big of a deal that I would let her strangle me until I almost pass out? Exactly.

6 comments:

sarah said...

She sure is...

Devon and Alicia said...

Joseph,
This isn't difficult-I don't think she's a man because of her adam's apple or her striking resemblance to Zira. I came to the conclusion the same way every doctor does when a child comes into the world. I will excuse you when it comes to what you find attractive and what you don't-you're eyes are rubbish and you haven't been able to see anything very well for years. Must I remind you of the afternoon we were walking down 200 N in Provo and you commented on the well shaped haunches of a passing bicyclist with flowing blonde hair, only to catch up a minute later and find "she" had a beard? Wait- I've just realized that it's not crap eyes at all- you just have a type.

Devon and Alicia said...

Zing! Pow!

Anonymous said...

Jillian is hot; and while I frankly doubt she had a sex change, it wouldn't change my opinion of her hotness.

She is a bit masculine but that doesn't bother me.

mallory said...

I for one love Jullian. However, I too remember when we were out bowling and Joe kept looking at a "hot" girl a few lanes over. He kept doing his little squinty thing to see better, but we could all see without squinting that the hot girl was actually a slender hot guy. Whatever Joe, I don't judge.

Anonymous said...

Again, Im behind. ..I agree with Devon. But, I have to side with Joseph. See, I am hott. I wont lie. And I also have an adams apple. So...
But, I am thrilled to hear of these stories of the biker, and squinting of thin attractive men. Sometimes I worry he is merely a wonderful story teller...
stories about really embarrassing moments of unintended attraction.