Composer Slash Sound Engineer

photo by leo patrone

Micah Dahl will bite you. Don't worry friend, it's a good thing. Micah is a Musical Vampire charged with the duty to bring delicate sospriando lacrimosos and triumphant grandiosos to children who show musical promise. Do you not understand some of those words? Then be afraid friend, because Micah will bite you, only, for his personal nourishment now.

Born in the early 1400's, Micah made a name for himself by being able to play any musical instrument set in his hands. This gained the attention of a local Renaissance band which extended an invitation for him to join up. The bands front man, Vlad the Impaler quickly became envious of Micah's musical abilities. Amongst their fans, there was hot debate over who was the better musician, Micah, or Vlad, causing a rift that eventually led to the break up of the group. Years later, through cruelty and cunning, Vlad had become emperor of Romania and invited Micah's new band to play at the castle for his coronation in an attempt to put an end to the quarrel. However, Micah's musical talent had magnified ten fold since the break up, and upon hearing the tunes ringing forth from Micah's Lute, Vlad became enraged in jealousy and pounced on Micah, biting ferociously at his neck. In self defense, Micah snatched up a wooden hammer used to play the dulcimer and plunged the handle deep into Vlad's heart...but the damage had already been done. Secret to all was that Vlad was the very first Dracula, and unknowingly, Micah had taken up the mantle from the bite he suffered.

Centuries later, Micah still makes music, and charges only a tiny bite on the neck. He has recently learned that Vlad has made a return to our world as this man. That's right, Yanni. Yanni's hit song "Nostalgia" is a call out to Micah, challenging him to a fight to the death. Though both Micah and Vlad still live, and have endured many battles with one another, neither one is willing to give up claim to the throne of world's most musical vampire. Here at Children Kids, our vote is for Micah, and not just because he's holding my nephew, sniffing at his neck at the moment.

The Animator

photo by leo patrone

BERK is a robot.
Why a robot?
Don't ask us such stupid questions or we'll send our robot after you. Our animating robot to be specific. Designed to animate at super human speed, the BERK unit is a perfect fit here at Children Kids. Powered by otter pops, impervious to tedious suggestions, and rust, BERK can work for hours on end without sleep, or positive reinforcement.
But that kind of technology doesn't exist now, does it?
Shut your face you! Of course technology like that isn't around yet. The BERK unit was sent back in time, three months from now, to help us on our quest to make a cartoon. It was the clever plan of our art director Cole. In February of this year he sent a check to a robotics company in ST. George, Utah, with instructions to mail back to our time a robot as soon as they had one that met our specifications. We wanted a rock-climbing, animating, golden-locks havin' robot, and that's exactly what we got.
Three months from the future?
Yes, you're mind would be blown if you knew what was just round the corner. BERK has told us many frightening things about not good stuff that is bad.
Could you be more specific?
While getting his Animating and Super-Awesome chips installed at The University of Utah, BERK worked for an airline, loading and unloading planes so he could get the discounted flights. He traveled the world snorkeling, and scuba-ing and was witness to something horrible.
What man, for the love of all that is good! What happens?
Gasoline.......over 4$ a gallon! Duhn duhn duhn!
But gas is over that now. And if he was from three months into the future, and you received him last February, doesn't that mean the future he came from was last May?
Berk is a crazy man that dresses in a robot costume, and works for otter pops, there, are you happy now? That's all we can afford.

About the Art Director

photo by leo patrone.

Cole is, and always has been, but mostly never was. Born the 27th letter of the English alphabet (a vowel), he was orphaned at an early age when the entire human race developed a speech impediment that could not pronounce him without going into seizure. With no need for him his family put him into exile, but not without prophecy. It was foretold that he would remain in exile until a half-Korean muse would rise up and resurrect the unspoken vowel, utter his sound to wake him, and return him to his rightful place. That day did come, however, upon opening his eyes for the first time in centuries, he fell in love with the muse, and passed on his birthright, forsaking his place between "P" and "Q". The two married and he began to learn the ways of the human.

First on his list, get a favorite sports team like most human males. Not knowing any better, Cole chose to love the Seattle Supersonics, which proved to be a one-sided relationship as the team continually broke his heart year in, year out. In further attempts to humanize himself, he enrolled at BYU where he quickly set himself apart as one of the premiere designer slash art directors in the program. Cole's eye for detail, and uncanny ability to bring many different forms of art together in harmony, have won him several awards in his early career. Most recently he was awarded "The Pencil", handed out at "The One Show" in "New York City". Though the award, show, and place all sounded made up, we gladly welcomed him to the team. Cole's visually unique style at Children Kids acts as it's own character, enticing the dormant parts of the mind to the forefront, where it pounces, overloading the imagination to the point of implosion, sending the viewer on scary fun house hallucination....but in a good way.

Most nights Cole can be seen running wild and scantily clad in the woods with his raucous brothers "Z" and "R", the three of them devouring organic fruit roll-ups and designing new fonts.

Meet the Children Kids Team! (Part Two)

photo by Leo Patrone

The Writers

Devon Anderson
Devon has been fascinated by the power of well crafted words from a very young age. Due to his delicate frame and his inability to correctly pronounce the letter "R", he had no choice but to develop the ability to use wit and humor to survive the tough streets of Salem, UT. To his delight, not only could the fury of ginger bullies be assuaged with this new found aptitude, he soon discovered that they could be easily persuaded to do his bidding on the school yard. Before he reached the age of accountability, Devon had formed one of the largest racketeering organizations in the history of Salem Elementary moving massive numbers of counterfeited Trapper Keepers and Teddy Ruxpins to unwitting classmates. Though business was booming, one fateful day, Devon was promised by a magical porpoise that if he would write funny stories to entertain and delight rather than use his talents for exploitation, he would be granted the ability to pronounce the most beautiful "R" ever heard by human ears. He agreed. The porpoise waved his dorsal fin and Devon was able to say his first "R" heretofore in his young life. It was glorious.

More than 20 years later, after unabashedly enjoying the use of his "R" for decades, the time had arrived to make the porpoise proud. One August night, bred of insomnia and an overindulgence of Tex Avery cartoons, the first Children Kids story was penned. Soon after, Devon was joined by a dream team of creative dynamos, each wielding a unique power enabling them to impel Children Kids through to fruition and fulfill its ultimate destiny to end all pain and suffering in the world. From all of us at Squatter Studios, you're welcome.

Meet the Children Kids Team! (Part One)

photo by Leo Patrone

The Writers

Joseph LeBaron
Joseph has wanted to be a writer ever since his kidnappers told him that his letters to his parents showed promise. Brought up a child of the eighties, his inspirations seed from his deep hatred for the USSR and his love for cutting objects in half Voltron style. At the age of ten he experienced both extremes when confronted with a Russian robot who asked him for directions. Joseph made short work of the commubot cleverly ignoring it's pre-programmed “human sounding” voice. Though it tried to tug at his heart by claiming to be a “homeless vet”, he saw right through the disguise, sundering the commubot in twain. This led to Joseph's first fully realized short story “I Once Cut a Robot in Two While It Begged Me to Stop”

He spent his college years sharpening his writing skills, pushing lesser things aside such as proper education and happiness, as he was suspicious of both. Nearing thirty years of age, single and socially retarded, the next logical step in life was to become a writer for a cartoon. The opportunity presented itself when his best friend of fourteen years jotted down what would be the beginning of Children Kids. An invitation soon followed and he has been with the small band of story-tellers ever since. There have been many voices whom have acted as muses for Joseph, none of which he cares for too much. He is driven by the saga of the Children Kids, and enjoys the omnipotence that comes with deciding who finds joy and weightlessness, and who feels the dirty stone in their chest.